I stumbled out of Black Plague, the last maze of Scare Kingdom Scream Park. I had been hooded, grabbed by plague victims, and pushed out into the bar area. Barely having had the time to take in my surroundings, I hear violent bashing against a metal door. A tiny window, a man gazing out.
Mr. Black. His rage-filled voice, shouting.
YOU. GET YOUR ASS IN HERE. WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE. WE ARE GOING TO TEAR YOU TO SHREDS!!
We had last met in August, during the four-hour-long Snuffhouse: After Dark. Evidently Mr. Black isn’t one to forget a face… Signing of the waiver – including an NDA, so don’t expect any details – out of the way, I faced the door. Through the little window, I saw the tormentors waiting for me to crawl through the opening. A red light, blinking on and off. And all of a sudden – I did get a bit nervous. No turning back though, and as the first one that day, I crawled in.
Hands around my throat. A hood over my head. I’m dragged away by the neck.
The smell is everywhere. So cold. Soaked, choking. On the floor.
Hands on my face, around my throat, constantly. Dragged into another room.
Thrown to the ground. Spoonful after spoonful. Retching – I’m being mocked, laughed at.
Manhandled once more. People on top of me. Bound to a chair.
Icy cold. Drenched. I’m shivering, shaking all over. Can’t control my shaking.
Hooded, I spit out what’s left in my mouth. The saliva is making the hood stick to my face. Can barely breathe. Waterboarded by my own spit. I claw at the hood, try to get my breath. My hands are taken away. WHO TOLD YOU YOU COULD TOUCH THE HOOD?? Out of breath. Struggling.
I’m bound, legs taped together, arms taped to my sides. Dragged outside and thrown to the floor. I’m very aware of all the people in the bar, looking on. Amazed laughter. I wriggle and try to get the duct tape off. Someone is helping me.
All of a sudden, hands. The face of Mr. Black. YOU THINK WE ARE DONE WITH YOU??
I’m pushed back inside. YOU ARE MY LITTLE BITCH. Thrown to the floor once again. More things, shoved in my mouth. Shoved basically everywhere. Legs still taped together, hands to my side, I am defenseless. Pulled up and ridiculed. I’m moved again, have to hop, have to hop faster. In the struggle, my belt has loosened, trousers are falling down.
YOU ARE WEAK. And I am thrown out again. I think it is over this time. Soaked. That smell. Still bound, hardly able to get out of my duct taped restraints. Shaking, freezing.
I was speechless, stumbling over my words. Adrenalin levels at an all time high, and this rush would last until way past the drive home. Snuffhouse Alone delivered, big time. It was ten minutes plus of intensity turned up to eleven, and then a couple minutes more. This won’t be for everyone, but I absolutely loved it. It was rough, it was crazy, and it most certainly was extreme. The fact that half of the clothes I brought were disgustingly filthy, I’ll take that gladly – my Airbnb had a washing machine and an easygoing host, thankfully. My shirt, I threw that in the trash right there. No salvaging that.
I washed off the worst in the bathroom, grabbed a beer, and enjoyed watching other people go in and out of Snuffhouse. The atmosphere in the bar was infectious, and a lot more people tried going through than I had expected. Most people, coming out wet and laughing about it to their friends. Some people sit at the sides, looking shocked. One girl, shouting ‘You fucking assholes’ and bursting into tears. Two more people get dragged out duct taped. The only ones not having used the safeword? Mr. Black, eyeing me and pointing his finger in my face as he throws one of them on a bale of hay near me.
Near the end, we got an unexpected backstage tour of Snuffhouse, while it was still in operation. Truly amazing – it’s like being in one of the Hostel movies. In one room, I saw someone safewording, in the next, someone else was being manhandled. Chaos all over. It looks so real it’s actually scary. The actors are working hard, running all over the place to give the sufferers all the attention they can take. The theming is way more elaborate than you would think too, tvs playing static, examination rooms. Not that you’ll notice any of this during your visit.
I get to shake hands with Mr. Black. He runs off quickly, grabs someone by the throat. Two other tormentors hold the subject in place. Threats being shouted. He runs back to us, grinning. Just another day on the job.